Kama ilivyo ada ya blog hii kila jumanne kujadili na kupresent issue zinazohusu familia,relationship n.k..Baada ya wiki iliyopita kuangazia katika angle nyingine lakini pia blog hii katika siku ya leo imeangalia katika angle nyingine ya ndoa.Watu wengi tumejuuliza sana kwa nini nchi ya Marekani ndio ina wanandoa wengi lakini pia ndoa hizo hazidumu kwa muda mrefu sana.Baada ya kupitia Website,blogs na Forum mbali mbali zinazohusu Divorce za ndoa nchini Marekani hiki ndicho kilichonekana.Pia hata katika jamii yetu ya kiafrika kuna baadhi ya vitu vipo.Wahenga walisema"Mjinga hujifunza kwa Makosa yake Mwenyewe lakini mwenye hekima hujifunza kwa wengine"Zifuatatazo ni sababu mbali mbali zilizonekana ....
I.Kutofautiana katika Vipaumbele na Matarajio ya wanandoa
( Difference in priorities and expectations)
It may be a self explanatory issue, which a lot of men and women discuss and anticipate prior to marriage, however, unanticipated matters at times do become major issues for many marriages. The fact is, no matter how much we try to harmonizes our priorities, we still remain distinct and different individuals, so the best solution is to meet halfway. Couples who encounter major differences in priorities regarding their lifestyle should sit down and try to come up with a medium and acceptable level of compromise.
II. Matumizi ya dawa za kulevya(Addiction)
Marriages, families and drug addiction certainly don’t mix well. Addicts not only have degrading effects on his own self image and their spouses, most often they leave disastrous emotional scars on their children, close relatives and friends. If a solution to save marriage from addiction is not provided, addiction will turn down everything towards destruction and the more it continues the more destructive it gets in the family. Some of the steps with addiction help can include: identifying the source of addiction, being honest about it and immediately seeking professional counseling intervention. Addiction is one of the most draining causes and reasons for divorce and should be paid immediate professional attention.
III. (Malezi ya Watoto)Child-Rearing Issues
Sharing simple responsibilities like changing dirty diapers, reading bed time stories for kids to taking them to school or soccer games has historically been some of the most causes for divorce. One of the ways to manage this better is to write down responsibilities and share them fairly. Specify who will do what, then start working on them a trial basis; maybe a week, or longer. Of course you can collectively decide to change or shift responsibility as needed.
IV. Dini,Mila na Desturi (Religious and Cultural strains)
As one of the most common reasons for divorce, religious and cultural differences usually take a lot of heat. Many times such problems really do not exist at all, but when other factors push the marriage towards its demise religious differences unfortunately get thrown in the mix and many times are blamed. Couples usually tend to discuss their differences prior to their marriage but as mentioned before in many cases religion does become a distancing factor.
V.Kuchoshwa , Kuboreka na Ndoa ( Boredom in marriage)
Believe it or not married couples get bored of each other or the life style they are drawn to. In many cases boredom can become much more noticeable and intolerable after longer years of marriage. While more compatible couples will stay together for life, some couples will eventually grow distant, disinterested, and consequently bored. Couples in this kind of situation should try to celebrate their marriage often and remember the good things and accomplishments that were previously made possible throughout their union. This can help shift the focus from the negatives to the positives. Also, trying new things like traveling, occasionally eating out or planning long-term projects can be good remedies for couples facing boredom, helping them to find a common goal and purpose once again.
VI. Kutoridhishana katika tendo la ndoa(Sexual incompatibility)
Right in the middle of the pack of top most common reasons for divorce sits the reproductive issues as well as sexual compatibility amongst married couple. In most cases sexual dissatisfaction results in separation and divorce but in a lot of other cases, the problem could be amended simply by being openly honest with each other. The issue of sexual incompatibility, whether it is reproductive incapability or else, varies significantly from case to case. Couples who feel that such issue is affecting their relationship should openly consult professionals who may be able to help.
VII. Mgawanyo wa Fedha kwenye Familia (Marital Financial issues)
Money or anything related to finances ca be a possible cause of disagreement between many people – including couples. Married couples, whether they are happy or not, may have disagreements over little financial issues to much bigger shared financial responsibilities or unequal monetary status. Money may not always be the principal cause but in fact is usually combined with other forms of reasons for divorce. In any case, it is still a significant contributor and should be managed with fairness from both sides, mutual understanding and a tiny dose of compromise.
VIII.Kudhalilishwa (Physical, psychological or emotional abuse)
Marriage abuses – from either the husband or the wife – is a big area of concern for many couples. Physical, psychological or emotional abuses come in different forms, which vary from couple to couple and family to family. However, in a short list they include things like telling a spouse that they are unwanted, physical abuse in form of beating, name-calling, ignoring the spouse, restricting the person to a room, emotional or physical terrorizing, monitoring phone calls, forcing spouse to do something they are not comfortable with. Abuse is one of the most common reasons for divorce. It is important for any person who is facing any form of an abuse to seek immediate professional help.
IX. Mawasiliano Kukosekana (Communication breakdown in relationships)
In a lot of cases when a marriage is breaking down one or both partners often say “we just can not communicate” or “we just don’t understand each other.” Some people may think that “communication” in a marriage always means agreeing with each other. So when they are not able to agree then the couple refers to the problem as “communication problem.” This is not true. Good communication is not always about agreement but when you are in disagreement it most likely means that you are communicating well and clearly stating your position. Couples who have communication problems, which usually lead to divorce and breakdown are not able to find the between the two points of medium. And once again it is all compromising and finding a balance in between.
X. Kuvunjwa kwa kiapo cha ndoa(Marriage Infidelity)
Most people know what infidelity or cheating is but in more formal terms infidelity is a violation of mutually agreed rules or boundaries that a couple assume in a relationship. In most marriages these terms are not mentioned since they are only assumed to be kept and honored by each person. Ironically, it is holds the number one reason for divorce in the US and many other countries.
NOTE:Kuna uwezekano kuna sababu nyingine nyingi zaidi lakini baada ya uchambuzi zimepatikana hizi chache tu.Pia hizi ni muongozo tu lakini pia kuna uwezekano wa sababu nyingine za koroho pia.
